Knitting. Go 'way.

I just realized I haven't updated here in FOREVER. And it's for a good reason.

I discovered knitting. In 2 1/2 weeks, I have knitted 3 infant hats (they seemed like finish-able projects), 2 toy owls, and 2 adult hats (well, almost done with #2, will be by tonight.)

And I've learned lots of new skills, which is 1) why I decided to do this and 2) oh so satisfying.

But (despite the title of this post) I love you folks.

Lest I get all Romper-Roomy and Magic-Mirrory and list you, and tell you I am thinking of you each by name, I'm just gonna tell you I love you all. Because that's less stalkery.

Hey! There WAS good news. I had my unemployment insurance adjudication hearing on the 7th and guess what? I won! Here's the Kafkaesque glory (which freaks me out somewhat): after 5 months of remunerated broketitude, I AM ELIGIBLE BECAUSE MY BOSS DIDN'T LIKE ME FILING A CLAIM.

It goes like this:
1) horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor.
2) try to get along with horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor.
3) do pretty well, but horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor asks me to commit claims fraud.
4) refuse to commit claims fraud, and realize that this is the third time in about 4 weeks that horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor has asked me to commit insurance fraud.
5) agonize. Realize that since boss has never once punished horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor for any action including screaming at boss and storming out, taking off any time she wants, spending all day on personal calls, and abusing fellow employees -- and previous instances of fraud -- nothing good will come of this.
6) quit.
7) file EDD claim.
8) get hired back during horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor's off hours, training my replacement.
9) boss gets copy of EDD paperwork stating that horrible, abusive coworker/supervisor was askin' me to commit fraud and that I felt my license/morality were in jeopardy.
10) boss gets pissed off and fires me mid-day, telling me to get off the premises.
11) claim rejected because I quit voluntarily and neither morals nor license worries the state. I file an appeal.
12) MONTHS later have adjudication hearing. Ex-boss shows up and asks me not to include e-mails between us in my evidence, as she feels these were private. Tell ex-boss that that is not possible, as all MY communications were always professional.
13) adjudication hearing is grueling. Be interrogated for 45 minutes and then some back and forth misery wherein ex-boss lies her head off AND fortunately contradicts herself enough that truth can be surmised.
14) receive notice that original claim would not have been supported, because after all the state doesn't give a fuck about my morals or license... but since she fired me through no fault of my own (for filing the claim!) I am covered after all.
15) WTF? But I guess it's cosmic justice. I DO care about my morals and license, and think I was totally justified in quitting. The abuse would have been sufficient, but the fraud requests were the poop icing on the poop cake.

I have never so sympathized with Josef K.

Mind you, they still have taken no steps whatever to pay me... and I have no idea how long they will take, as it is impossible to get through to the EDD in person, by phone, or by carrier pigeon. When the Ouija board finally tells me what's going on, or when a check arrives, I'll let y'all know.

So... what's new with you? I have heard NOTHING from some of you in forever... Troy and Heather? You okay? Greg? Don't make me get out my Magic Mirror, folks! :)