Wednesday, July 25, 2007

You kids get off my lawn!

It may be time to tell my vegan forum community goodbye, before I become intolerable to them through having a meltdown.

I love them... they are moral people (though we may differ in the specifics on many points), they are sensitive people, generally speaking, and they share a food aesthetic with me that goes pretty deeply into my everyday preferences.

They have gone from thrilling me by loving animals and each other, to boring me bugnuts by blathering about their pets, to driving me out of my skull by their stupid decisions about animal protection. Not everyone in it, mind you, but as a community. The forest, not the trees.

Listen to me.

If you rescue animals, good. If they are WILD animals, even better.

Cats and dogs and such are very nice, yes. Spay or neuter the little bastards and keep them inside. This is what they do outside: They make more predators. They murder the wildlife. They cause property damage. They devour toxins and die. They get hit by cars. They are a nuisance, they are a drain (and when Animal Control rounds them up on my dime and with my heartfelt and sad blessing, if you turn them loose, you are the enemy of my pocketbook), and they are living shorter and sicker lives than they would indoors.

All this talking head blather about "rescuing" animals by freeing them from Animal Control live traps, or cramming your backyard with still-half-feral crap machines creating a noise nuisance and a stink that can be tasted for blocks, or any of that kind of misdirected moral smugness...

Go. Find out what they do to wild animals with nowhere else to go, whose fragile ecosystems have already been crushed beyond survival threshold by the same idiots (us) that imported the cats and dogs you are "saving."


Yes, I know most of them are like 13-17 years old and are probably surviving anorexia or suicide because having other hammerheads to snuggle with is cushioning their fragile, eggshell sensitive egos, so brutalized by the mean horrible world.

Nature is red in tooth and claw. Put Fifi outside and she will either feed on, or feed, someone else--if only roadside crows. She will not go purchase her own gourmet vegan dog food. Put Felix outside and he will kill hundreds of animals before succumbing to some form of organ disease (or vehicle) that he would never have encountered inside. At least he won't go blind from being denied taurine by a "well-meaning" vegan owner.

I'm all for morality, all for it! But shouldn't we have a requirement alongside to be oh, say, at least marginally smart about our endeavors?

Le sigh. It's largely my own fault and the fault of people like me, for nodding my head and making polite noises when people tell me they did something morally sterling but totally incorrect... such as, say, "rescuing" a baby bird because you believe its parents won't take it back once it's been handled (such birds almost always die, and the parents do take them back... most birds lack a sense of smell and if you don't fuss around giving them a nervous breakdown, they will come right back for baby if you put him in the nest or on the branch.)

I should tell people on the spot: "nice thought, but your cat will probably live a much shorter time since you let him outside, and he will kill hundreds of animals. Cat spit and claws are toxic: even "barely scratched" animals will die. Also, his many kittens will glut the shelters."

How do I become this person? And will it help?


KingSurlyDave said...

You are a member of an elite fraternity of people who are passionate about something, but level-headed and responsible. Such fraternities are dwindling by the day, as polarization of topics is what makes the front page news. The levelheaded normal people are never heard because:
A. They never speak up
B. They are drowned up by the rantings of PETA, NRA, or the "Moral Majority".
C. They have ADHD and... dude, I like nachos, especially the ones with jalapenos...

For example, I like firearms. I enjoy them in a sporting manner, though I do not hunt, nor intend to. I believe in the basic right for citizens to own firearms. I wish there was a forum for RESPONSIBLE gun owners, ones who hope to go their entire lives without having to point a weapon at another person - as opposed to the majority of NRA whackjobs who think you should be required to shoot everything within a 200 yard radius twice on a daily basis.

Basically, if you're educated and capable of logical thought, you're the enemy of the polarized.

Kind of a sad parallel to the two party system.

Anonymous said...

i totally know what you're talking about and i feel ya. i miss the good old days when it was just us die hards. i do enjoy the newbies but most, i agree... i want to kick.

Ducks said...

Anon-- So sorry I melted down... I have explained myself somewhat more articulately in the post that follows. I am delighted that you are visiting the blog, and thanks for the forum note, too.

Dave-- great post. I know these things about you, but seldom see this side of you come out and make a stand... I'm proud of you, little brother. Made me kick myself and go "damn, I should have said THAT!"