Blogging my brother: Guitar Hero

So, Guitar Hero. My brother's been telling me this about it:

"Everybody sucks at it-- well, almost everybody. It's a great party game because almost everyone sucks, especially with a couple drinks in them, except there's usually one person at the party who's really good."

Those who know my TV watching habits may know that I am absolutely enamored with Metalocalypse. It's a brilliant show-- a Brendon Small cartoon, kind of like Home Movies, if the band that played on Brendon's movies grew up to be a metal supergroup (Dethklok) with the kind of wealth and power that real bands only dream of, and a dark consortium of illuminati trying to thwart their accidental but inevitable bringing of the apocalypse. The lead singer character, Nathan Explosion, speaks as he sings-- in a growly metal roar. Aside from "brutal," his favorite adjective seems to be "metallllllll." And I've picked it up (okay, somewhat deliberately.) And after I proselytized the virtues of Metalocalypse to Robert, he, too, picked it up.

Anyway. When he went on about something being "metallllll" to one of his friends, that friend rewarded him with a copy of Guitar Hero 2-- which has, evidently, one of Dethklok's songs on it as a bonus track.

After our Bears disappointed us at the Super Bowl, during which my dear husband and three of the best guys ever to pack a truck packed our fucking moving van in -30 weather, during the Super Bowl-- while I helped Rob with a barbecue and Super Bowl party-- I was done for the night. A couple Red Stripes in me, along with a lot of barbecue, and a long damn day of entertaining, made for a curl-up-with-a-book night.

I curled up. Robert made interesting noises, and I wondered if I had stuck him with putting away the copious leftovers by himself, so I went to investigate.

He was opening a game and installing stuff. Well and good, I thought; he was about to play a game on his Playstation.

Imagine my surprise when I came back through to get water and he was laughing himself silly, nestled in his big living room chair, with a toy guitar in his hands. And he was playing the thing by mashing its buttons rhythmically.

I peered at the screen. It's not that hard to catch onto the game. "This is Guitar Hero," I said, brilliantly.

"Yup," he replied, teeth clenched. He missed a note.

I watched what his hands were doing, and what the screen was reporting. "Ohhhh, it's all a matter of timing," I observed.

"Yeah," he said. I watched the end of the song. "You wanna try?" he asked, and gave me the little guitar.

"I guess," I said, holding it as if it were a large live scorpion. It wasn't.

It should be noted that I'm one of those people who sucks at Guitar Hero. And Robert, for whatever reason, is one of the ones that is surprisingly good. I got my little avatar booed off the stage; Rob, trying the same song per my challenge, got an 88%.

Metallllllllllll.